Today, I rode the bus. And then I rode the bus some more. And just when it was starting to get to the point when I felt like I have never done anything in my life but ride the bus, I rode the bus some more.
At this very moment, I am in Oradea, Romania. Buna Ziua! That means good day! This is pretty much the only thing I know how to say in Romanian and truthfully, I don’t pronounce it all that well. It is very, very cold in Romania. Shake in your big puffy jacket, stomp your feet to make sure your toes haven’t fallen off, and huddle up to someone else even if you are invading their personal space and are not exactly best friends with them cold.
This is the very first trip I have ever taken to a cold country for work. While I’ve been to Japan in November when a jacket is a necessity to feel comfortable and to Kenya where the cool nights make you glad you thought to bring a wool shawl along, this is the first time I have longed for a permanent I.V. of hot chocolate inserted into my arm.
In spite of the cold weather, I am coming to discover that Romania is a beautiful country with valleys of farmland so green that it makes you want to burst out with “the hills are alive” and mountains and forests that make your feet itch to run outside and play explorer.
But I am here to work. So I did not jump off the bus to explore (or sing), instead I sat there counting down the minutes to Cluj, one of the major cities in Romania. I am traveling with two other people, one a missionary who will be leading the team coming soon and the second, the ministry coordinator for Romania. We are visiting Cluj today for 2 reasons. First, a short-term missions team is will be coming to Romania soon and we need to make sure they have a place to stay and that they have places to share the gospel. Second, I’m hoping to get some school administrators to allow us to talk to their students about the ways they think and feel about their lives. So far, I’ve been to two countries where I have tried to get these projects off the ground and in both countries, nothing went quite the way I was hoping it would. Suffice it to say, my expectations for Romania weren’t very high.
Our first stop was to get permission from a school to let us minister there with the team and (my big responsibility) talk to the kids before and after the team does their thing. Here is what happened:
School Administrator Man: something something something else in Romanian
Ministry Coordinator: something something something else in Romanian
School Administrator Man: More something in Romanian?
Ministry Coordinator: nods her head
Me: Please let us talk to your kids
School Administrator: more Romanian
Ministry Coordinator: even more Romanian
School Administrator: Sure!
I know that Lenny, after her luggage debacle, posted about how God is able to far exceed our expectations. And while I didn’t see any zebras or giraffes, I too have had a first-hand experience of how mighty God is and how infinite his power. I don’t know why I constantly underestimate what God can do and how He can move in the most stubborn of hearts. I went into that school expecting a flat-out rejection and it turned out the only person whose heart was hardened to the doors God can open was mine.
Over the past year, after practically spending ½ a year in India, and then jumping between Mexico, the Philippines, and now, Romania, I realized that I was starting to think that the work I have will only get accomplished if I do it. I forgot about God. I work in ministry and I forgot that God is the one who ministers through his children. Not his children through Him.
I don’t know whether it was the easy acquiescence from the school administrator to our project or seeing all the prayer and hard work that our Romanian coordinator is doing to get ready for the team, but there is such a sense of freedom and relief in knowing that I just have to try by best and that God will do what he wills.
It’s God’s ministry. I just get to live it.
Pack lightly (because you can’t trust that everyone else will do the same and you’ll wind up carrying more bags than you want to- a whole other story)!
Mary
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Kindness of Strangers
Here I (Lenny) sit in the Atlanta airport after almost 20 hours of traveling from Tanzania. I have been traveling so long I feel a little nonchalant about this being my last leg of the journey until I am back home. Mary and I are literally continents apart right now. I believe she is currently somewhere in Asia Pacific. So amidst the chattering of teenagers behind me and lack of free wireless internet access I thought I might use this opportunity to unpack my mind a little about a cool reminder I had in Tanzania….the kindness of strangers still does exist!
I arrived in Tanzania just one short week ago. I arrived minus my luggage. To make matters worse, the very next day I was supposed to go on safari. Short of not having any luggage or toiletries I also had to contend with the thought of going on a two day safari with complete strangers in my two-days old travel dress and completely inappropriate shoes. I was already nervous about going on safari by myself and the loss of my luggage had me pretty convinced that I should just cancel the whole thing. If my mood was the only factor in the decision, I would have cancelled the whole safari idea but thankfully (although I didn’t think so at the time) some new friends had set up a reservation for me and wouldn’t hear of me cancelling because of some lost luggage.
So resigned to my fate, I managed to acquire some basic supplies at a Mr. Price (a type of convenient store), wrapped myself in my shawl/nightgown and got some a few hours of sleep. I woke up to an insanely early wake call dreading the start of a day that I just wanted to be over.
When the safari company vehicle (which had seen better days) arrived, I was greeted by the driver and a couple. My first thought- “Oh great, they’re probably on their honeymoon and I get to be Ms. Third Wheel!” I shook hands with the couple, politely introduced myself and for the next two hours, didn’t speak to anyone at all. In fact, the only sound breaking the silence inside the vehicle was the girl’s coughing, blowing of her nose, and their whispered conversation, which happened in a language I couldn’t recognize (Swedish? Dutch? Who knows!). I’ll just say the ride to the safari didn’t go a long way to convincing me that I’d made the right decision getting out of bed that day.
When I escaped from the car and arrived at the camp ground, there were more people waiting for us to begin the tour of the Ngorongoro Crater (The “Crater” as we called it, is unique to Tanzania as the only conservation area providing protection status for wildlife while allowing human habitation). And here is where my tide began to turn. A girl from Australia eagerly introduced herself to me. She, like I, was a loner on the safari. There were two guys also by themselves- one was a 20-something British guy who was hoping to learn from the trip so he could become a safari guide (he was no joke and pretty much served as the co-safari guide). The other guy was from Poland (he was only on the first day of the safari and was pretty happy to have the new couple on the trip because they spoke the same language, go figure!).
My new Aussie acquaintance proceeded to be the “Purser” of our safari. She asked questions and managed to get the whole group talking. I found out the couple with whom I drove to the campground with was also from Poland (so they were probably speaking Polish earlier). With all the talking that was now happening in the car, I found myself sharing my luggage ordeal with the group (which I’m actually glad of because I just know people were thinking, “what kind of an idiot wears a dress and fancy shoes on a safari???).. The whole van erupted in sympathy and I immediately felt bonded with them. Does misery love company? Why, yes it does!
The scenery we passed on the way to the Crater was beautiful. I began to move out of myself and couldn’t help but marvel at the spectacular nature and scenery God has gifted us with and He allowed me to experience. I was actually experiencing something that some people spend their whole lives dreaming about but never do. And I was doing it. How could I let some lost luggage take me away from being 100% committed to moment?
As I looked around and tried to take everything in, I, without even thinking about it, pulled my shawl tighter to myself to get warmer (it was cold!). The next thing I know, the Polish couple pulled a “hoodie” and a brand new scarf out of their pack and insisted I take it.
Later that evening, we all met for dinner and were introduced to some German friends of the Polish couple. I found out they were actually taking a “gap year” to volunteer for projects in Tanzania. At that point, my table had turned on to a virtual United Nations. It was great! We talked about my work, their schooling, the funny English words that are so easily mispronounced (like “Margarine”). We even spoke about the outrageous cost of malaria prescriptions in the UK compared to the USA. Somewhere in all the laughter, chatter and good fellowship of the dinner conversation, I shared that I’d packed my malaria pills in my lost luggage. In that one evening I had said, laughed, and felt more included with virtual strangers than I ever could have imagined possible.
That night, I was planning to bunk with my new Aussie acquaintance who had become without a doubt, a friend. So instead of polite night time conversation when you are just waiting for the other person to turn off their light, we had a slumber party! Of course it was not without adventure. The lights went out on us; we couldn’t figure out how to get the toilet to work, and do not even get me started on the shower I attempted to take. But in spite of that, it was one of the best nights ever.
It was the small things- like how she tucked herself so securely into the mosquito netting that she looked like a prisoner- that had me cracking up hysterically. I had just put in a movie (the benefits of having my laptop as my carry-on luggage) to lull us to sleep when there was a knock at the door. It took me a while to release myself from the mosquito netting, but when I did I found one of the German girls from dinner at the door with a week’s supply of malaria pills. She and her roommate had gone through their supply of pills and compiled all their extra ones for me in case my luggage never showed up. I was floored by their generosity (those pills cost them a lot!) and tried to refuse but they wouldn’t take no for an answer!
The generosity just continued the next day. On day two at Lake Mayanara, the Polish couple automatically handed over what they said was now “my hoodie and scarf.” By the end of that day, I knew that I hadn’t experienced the wild life of Tanzania with strangers, but with an amazing group of caring and generous individuals.
The end of day two was also the day I received a message that my luggage had been found! My safari friends? They got almost as excited about it as I did! And so…I have to coin a new phrase- “Joy loves company, too!”
On the ride back to town, I exchanged contact information and the Polish couple. Ironically enough, they confessed that they had been really nervous when the car stopped at my hotel to pick me up, as they expected to be forced to go on safari with a snotty couple on their honeymoon. I just laughed (mostly at myself) and said, “Always expect the unexpected.”
So that is my story and my lesson learned. I expected one thing- terrible awful things I should say- and instead was reminded of a basic lesson- be kind to everyone because you never know when you will be the beneficiary of the kindness of strangers. And also, lesson #2: always (ALWAYS) pack emergency clothes in your carry-on bag!
Globally yours and a shout out to Mary (wherever you are!),
Lenny
I arrived in Tanzania just one short week ago. I arrived minus my luggage. To make matters worse, the very next day I was supposed to go on safari. Short of not having any luggage or toiletries I also had to contend with the thought of going on a two day safari with complete strangers in my two-days old travel dress and completely inappropriate shoes. I was already nervous about going on safari by myself and the loss of my luggage had me pretty convinced that I should just cancel the whole thing. If my mood was the only factor in the decision, I would have cancelled the whole safari idea but thankfully (although I didn’t think so at the time) some new friends had set up a reservation for me and wouldn’t hear of me cancelling because of some lost luggage.
So resigned to my fate, I managed to acquire some basic supplies at a Mr. Price (a type of convenient store), wrapped myself in my shawl/nightgown and got some a few hours of sleep. I woke up to an insanely early wake call dreading the start of a day that I just wanted to be over.
When the safari company vehicle (which had seen better days) arrived, I was greeted by the driver and a couple. My first thought- “Oh great, they’re probably on their honeymoon and I get to be Ms. Third Wheel!” I shook hands with the couple, politely introduced myself and for the next two hours, didn’t speak to anyone at all. In fact, the only sound breaking the silence inside the vehicle was the girl’s coughing, blowing of her nose, and their whispered conversation, which happened in a language I couldn’t recognize (Swedish? Dutch? Who knows!). I’ll just say the ride to the safari didn’t go a long way to convincing me that I’d made the right decision getting out of bed that day.
When I escaped from the car and arrived at the camp ground, there were more people waiting for us to begin the tour of the Ngorongoro Crater (The “Crater” as we called it, is unique to Tanzania as the only conservation area providing protection status for wildlife while allowing human habitation). And here is where my tide began to turn. A girl from Australia eagerly introduced herself to me. She, like I, was a loner on the safari. There were two guys also by themselves- one was a 20-something British guy who was hoping to learn from the trip so he could become a safari guide (he was no joke and pretty much served as the co-safari guide). The other guy was from Poland (he was only on the first day of the safari and was pretty happy to have the new couple on the trip because they spoke the same language, go figure!).
My new Aussie acquaintance proceeded to be the “Purser” of our safari. She asked questions and managed to get the whole group talking. I found out the couple with whom I drove to the campground with was also from Poland (so they were probably speaking Polish earlier). With all the talking that was now happening in the car, I found myself sharing my luggage ordeal with the group (which I’m actually glad of because I just know people were thinking, “what kind of an idiot wears a dress and fancy shoes on a safari???).. The whole van erupted in sympathy and I immediately felt bonded with them. Does misery love company? Why, yes it does!
The scenery we passed on the way to the Crater was beautiful. I began to move out of myself and couldn’t help but marvel at the spectacular nature and scenery God has gifted us with and He allowed me to experience. I was actually experiencing something that some people spend their whole lives dreaming about but never do. And I was doing it. How could I let some lost luggage take me away from being 100% committed to moment?
As I looked around and tried to take everything in, I, without even thinking about it, pulled my shawl tighter to myself to get warmer (it was cold!). The next thing I know, the Polish couple pulled a “hoodie” and a brand new scarf out of their pack and insisted I take it.
Later that evening, we all met for dinner and were introduced to some German friends of the Polish couple. I found out they were actually taking a “gap year” to volunteer for projects in Tanzania. At that point, my table had turned on to a virtual United Nations. It was great! We talked about my work, their schooling, the funny English words that are so easily mispronounced (like “Margarine”). We even spoke about the outrageous cost of malaria prescriptions in the UK compared to the USA. Somewhere in all the laughter, chatter and good fellowship of the dinner conversation, I shared that I’d packed my malaria pills in my lost luggage. In that one evening I had said, laughed, and felt more included with virtual strangers than I ever could have imagined possible.
That night, I was planning to bunk with my new Aussie acquaintance who had become without a doubt, a friend. So instead of polite night time conversation when you are just waiting for the other person to turn off their light, we had a slumber party! Of course it was not without adventure. The lights went out on us; we couldn’t figure out how to get the toilet to work, and do not even get me started on the shower I attempted to take. But in spite of that, it was one of the best nights ever.
It was the small things- like how she tucked herself so securely into the mosquito netting that she looked like a prisoner- that had me cracking up hysterically. I had just put in a movie (the benefits of having my laptop as my carry-on luggage) to lull us to sleep when there was a knock at the door. It took me a while to release myself from the mosquito netting, but when I did I found one of the German girls from dinner at the door with a week’s supply of malaria pills. She and her roommate had gone through their supply of pills and compiled all their extra ones for me in case my luggage never showed up. I was floored by their generosity (those pills cost them a lot!) and tried to refuse but they wouldn’t take no for an answer!
The generosity just continued the next day. On day two at Lake Mayanara, the Polish couple automatically handed over what they said was now “my hoodie and scarf.” By the end of that day, I knew that I hadn’t experienced the wild life of Tanzania with strangers, but with an amazing group of caring and generous individuals.
The end of day two was also the day I received a message that my luggage had been found! My safari friends? They got almost as excited about it as I did! And so…I have to coin a new phrase- “Joy loves company, too!”
On the ride back to town, I exchanged contact information and the Polish couple. Ironically enough, they confessed that they had been really nervous when the car stopped at my hotel to pick me up, as they expected to be forced to go on safari with a snotty couple on their honeymoon. I just laughed (mostly at myself) and said, “Always expect the unexpected.”
So that is my story and my lesson learned. I expected one thing- terrible awful things I should say- and instead was reminded of a basic lesson- be kind to everyone because you never know when you will be the beneficiary of the kindness of strangers. And also, lesson #2: always (ALWAYS) pack emergency clothes in your carry-on bag!
Globally yours and a shout out to Mary (wherever you are!),
Lenny
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Mexican Water, Anyone?
We’ve been in Mexico City four days and have already learned quite a lot! Here are some of our nuggets of wisdom:*Beware of the Mexican water. Not because it’s never a good idea to drink local water as a foreigner but because Mexican water is code for Tequila!
*Visit the Pyramid of the Sun; the view from the top is spectacular. And if you have to climb down on your bottom, don’t be embarrassed ‘cause that’s how everybody does it.
*People running around the streets in their underwear are not weird, they are protesting. What, you ask? No one knows.
*It’s okay if you don’t speak Spanish. Thanks to the good people at Starbucks, Grande Carmel Macchiato is universal.
Surprisingly enough we have yet to be deported or lost; however, Mary did lose her room key. To find it, she named the card Paco and then proceeded to shout, “Donde esta Paco?” throughout the night. We’ve also had the pleasure of gracing Mexico City with our Song and Dance (which originated in Nigeria) and thanks to the Hotel Sevilla’s glass elevators, everyone there can say they have seen us live!
This trip to Mexico City is the first Mary and I have taken together since October 2007. And perhaps because of that, we have discovered that we have some shared aspirations. So (drum roll please) here is our list of must -dos:
1. Try out for the Olympics…Michael Phelps might have the whole swimming thing locked but we too have found our Olympic spotlight…London 2012 Trampoline Gymnastics here we come!
2. Attend the Democratic National Convention in our patriotic t-shirt (which boldly states on front, “No McCain is not too old” and on the back, “We support Paris for V.P.”), followed by a trip to the Republican Convention in our “Obama or Bust” T’s
3. Ride a camel to a pyramid in Egypt to have tea at the top. We now have a thing for pyramids… (Side Note from Lenny: I hope this time Mary remembers her sun block – let’s just say Rudolph’s nose is nothing compared to hers. Side note from Mary: I DID put on sun block. Who knew you have to reapply so often?)
4. After showcasing our song and dance at the Pyramids of the Sun and Moon in Mexico, we have decided to add more tour dates to the schedule…please leave your comments to which countries you would like us to appear in and keep your eye on this blog for our next venue.
Although this list may seem weird, the idea of daring to do the ridiculous or impossible is one that we need to embrace. There is something about sitting at the top of a pyramid built by a civilization even older than the Aztecs that makes you wonder what mark do you leave on the world? Will you build something that others will gaze at long after you are gone? What is the ripple effect that you will leave on the world?
Sitting at the top of the pyramid, we realized that Arthur O'Shaughnessy had it right when he wrote, “We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.” So whatever Pyramid you are trying to build… build on!!!
Globally yours,
Lenny and Mary
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Part II
Hola from Mexico! Lenny and i got here yesterday and we are hoping to get a co-entry up real soon. In the meantime, here's the rest of my rock n' roll musings...
I started wondering what if unintentionally, a husband did detract from my walk with Christ? Already, there is so much in my life that distracts me in my walk. There is my job, my family, books, television, and my addiction to shoes and handbags. None of these things are necessarily bad- some are very good, even essential- but they’re all things that, if I’m not diligent with my prayer life and my time in the Word, can easily shift my priorities away from Christ. If, as Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7, it’s perfectly acceptable to stay unmarried and so focus one’s attention on Jesus, then perhaps, for the sake of my Christian walk, I’m better off not complicating things. I was all ready to embrace this philosophy except something about it struck me as cowardly. If the spirit God has given me is one of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7), then I don’t think Jesus would want me to eschew something because of a fear of the what-ifs.
I wound up listing potential life scenarios to gain more clarity about my desire to marry, being careful to include all the things I expected to get out of marriage and all the things I thought my life would be like if I never got married. For life with marriage, security and companionship seemed to be the two major incentives. Specifically, I realized that I viewed marriage as a means of emotional and financial security.
That was when I had my Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9) moment.
That I fostered such a belief was a rather shocking and unpleasant revelation for someone who prides herself on being independently minded. Not only does it not say much for how I view my own abilities, it hurt to know that in spite of all God has done to meet my needs in the past, I didn’t trust Him with my future. Instead, I trusted a guy that doesn’t even exist in my life to take care of my future.
Once I saw that (and confessed), I could consider life without marriage objectively. Surprisingly, it wasn’t such a bad picture. I imagined myself, fifty years old, white-haired with nary a wrinkle in sight (it could happen) working with children, serving the Lord, and typing away at my laptop late into the night.
I don’t know if that is what God has for me or if marriage is in my future; I can’t even say that I prefer one over the other. What I do know is that whichever way my life winds up, I can trust that the future God has for me is the best one.
Reaching that place, in giving my post-concert worries to God, I have peace. And I am glad.
This isn’t to say that every day is easy. It’s not. I have more rough patch moments than I wish I did. But God has equipped me with a battle plan for such moments, not just in regards to marriage but in giving all of my future to Jesus.
One of the most important things I have learned is the need to pour out my heart to Jesus constantly. Since I tried my Just How Bad game with marriage, I have been working hard at being honest with Jesus about everything that is in my heart, not just the things I think He wants to hear or I am comfortable admitting.
I thought I was doing pretty well with this until the day I took a rather splendid fall at a church conference. I was leading a discussion group for teenage girls and this guy was leading a similar boys group. I happened to overhear his group discussion and from his words, it was evident that he really had a heart for Christ. I didn’t talk to him that day but a few weeks later, I went to his church and planned to “accidentally” bump into him when I learned from a mutual friend that he was practically engaged.
I came home that night and cried because I finally understood what Peter felt when he wept bitterly (Matthew 26:75). Peter wept because he’d betrayed Jesus and I wept for the same reason. Whether I did it unconsciously or not, I realized that I’ve been so diligent about spending my quiet time with Jesus, reading and studying the Bible so faithfully, and taking an active role in my church’s ministry as a means of getting good enough for Jesus to get my reward- marriage. Once again, I’d put someone else and something else above Jesus and by doing so, I told Jesus He wasn’t enough for me.
It has been a struggle to let Christ have control of my desires and to everyday, let Him lead while I follow. I have no doubt, for years to come, that I will have many more moments when I cry out to Jesus because I’ve thought I was doing so well in my walk only to stumble. Yet I am blessed to be able to tell the maker of the universe anything. All of the doubts, all of the fears, all of the hopes in my heart, I can give them to God.
Talking to my sisters has never been more vital to me than in regards to men and marriage. On my post-concert journey, my sisters have listened to me whine, hooked me up with helpful scripture, and told me to get my eye back on Jesus when my thoughts and actions were decidedly un-godlike. They are an encouragement and in so many ways, a manifestation of Christ’s love for me.
If you’re blessed with such women in your life, praise God for it. If you’re not, ask God for such friends. One of the great things about God is when we make requests of Him that are borne from a desire to honor Him, He is faithful to provide us with what we need.
In spite of having peace about leaving marriage with God, I sometimes worry that I will succumb to fears or well-intentioned familial pressure and just marry anyone. At such moments, I am comforted by the fact that I can rely on God to carry me to stay rooted in Him and persevere. The more I give of myself to Christ, the more I realize how able He is to save me from myself. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s very hard but there is comfort in knowing that no one- myself included- loves me more than Jesus. So how can I not trust Him to have a future for me far better than anything I could imagine for myself?
My rock n’ roll revelation has also taught me that Jesus definitely has a sense of humor. My sister recently announced her engagement to a long-time family friend. This is cause for much celebration in my family and I’m certainly excited to know there is someone else in the world who is now obligated to buy me birthday presents. I am less than pleased, however, at spending most Saturdays running bridal errands.
If you have peace that marriage is something God has for you but you find yourself anxious for when it will happen, help a friend plan her wedding. It is a great way to dull the need to get married. Nothing makes you want less to get married than seeing everything that goes into a wedding day. Trust me. Try it. Although be warned, it might put you off flower arrangements and tulle for life.
Lastly, all of this introspection has made me realize how blessed I really am. There is something to be said for having my own room, leaving the dishes in the sink, and eating ice cream in bed without having to share the spoon. From what I’ve seen, compromise is essential to a successful marriage. So for all us singles, we might as well enjoy the perks!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
What do I want?
So Lenny has been on my case to post something. And I’ve been meaning to but nothing witty, brilliant and bright was coming to me. So… back when I thought I would be a journalist, I put together this article. Unfortunately, it turns out I waited too long to get it published. So, coming at you in two parts (here's part I; I'll post the second part from Mexico!), for you, my global family, here is my article that never was….
Marriage, Faith, and Rock n’ Roll
Earlier this year, a friend and I went to our first Kutless concert. While we’ve both been fans of their music for some time, neither of us knew all that much about the band. So, the Friday before the concert, we both slacked off at our respective jobs to visit the Kutless website.
Our reactions to it were pretty much the same.
Her email: Did you notice that everyone in the band is kind of young?
My email: Yes. Did you notice that they’re all married and got married when they were 12? Except the drummer. He’s not married. He’s four.
Her email: I know! And the drummer? I’m sure he’s got married. They just haven’t had time to update the website.
Our emails- no doubt, seem strange. Especially since, as far as I know, no one in Kutless got married at twelve and all the guys in the band- including Jeffrey Gilbert, the drummer, are in their 20s. But really, if you’re single, of a certain age, and go to churches where everyone tries to marry you off, this is how you too will think.
The night of the concert, halfway through Disciple’s set my friend leaned over and whispered, “I’ve been checking and so far all the guys have wedding rings on!”
It was, for me, a Bonnie Tyler moment (for those of you not familiar with the great Ms. Tyler, think of the fairy godmother’s number in Shrek II). Where have all the good men gone? Well Bonnie, I don’t know about all good men but I’m starting to think that all the Christian men got married. And apparently, most of them did it before they hit twenty-two.
I became a Christian at twenty-four. While I’ve had moments where I’ve wished my walk with Christ started in childhood, for the most part, I don’t question God’s timing. But at that concert, it suddenly struck me that most of the Christian men I know, either personally or from their ministry, the ones who love Christ first and everything else second, the ones who seem to truly desire God’s will in their lives, all those guys- at least the ones around my age- are already married.
Logically, I know there must be single guys my age or older who have made Christ their first priority. It’s just that I don’t know any of them. I don’t need to marry a God-lovin’ rock star (although in my pre-salvation days when my friends and I made up lists of the guys we had to date before we died, rock star, guy with motorcycle, British accent man, and Bon Jovi (I’m from New Jersey) were my top picks). I would, however, like to marry a man who glows in the dark with his love for Christ.
But what if there’s no one like that for me?
As a Christian, I know I’m supposed to leave my worries with God. I tried a lot of things to do just that. I took some practical steps- like reading the Bible and looking at books by Christian writers on marriage, knowing God’s will and singleness- and some not-so-practical steps that are slightly mortifying to admit- like writing letters to my nonexistent spouse. In the end, while everything I did was helpful, none gave me the peace that came from doing what I should have done from the start which was talk to God.
For me, talking to God required first being honest with myself and asking a fundamental question: do I want marriage more than a closer relationship with God?
No was the first answer that popped into my head but then I got thinking and realized maybe it's not that easy...
Thursday, June 12, 2008
open casting call
Forget unpacking your mind…I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Mary and I went to the open casting call this past weekend for Amazing Race! I think we (more I) were trying to psych ourselves out of it but going proved to be a huge adventure for us…Not to mention we were finally able to move something from out of our “wouldn’t it be cool if we did this box” into our “we are so cool because we stopped talking about it and did it” box!
We, of course, were the two girls in line that were completely unprepared (no application, no pictures, no clue) but thanks to some supporters we made it to being in front of the camera saying why we would rock on Amazing Race and yes, we were AMAZING! I have no real clue of what we said but the adrenaline rush (once it was over) was yes, I will say it again for lack of a better adjective, AMAZING!
To have a little bit of a "deeper" moment…one of the even cooler things that happened was actually the next day in church when the choir sang Hillsong's “From the Inside Out”…These lyrics took on a whole new meaning to me:
“Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame / And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise…”
I know one of the reasons I was, shall we say, hesitant to go to the open casting call was wondering (urg,worrying) what would people think of me (have you ever thought that?), what if I messed up on national TV if we did make it (Mary and I cannot even find our way around our own home town!) and everyone I know saw (what will come out of my mouth when the pressure is on, ohhhh I am going to so embarrass my Mom)!!! But listening to this song reminded me whatever I do (whether it be going to an open casting call or how I interact with those difficult people in my life) my goal, my purpose, my heart’s song is to bring God praise, as He is Everlasting, everything else will fade away... BUT his GLORY goes beyond all fame (especially my little fleeting 15 minutes of fame that the Amazing Race would provide me with!).
Wherever God takes me I pray that He will consume me from the inside out so in all that I do He would get the glory and become more famous through His works in me…now wouldn’t that be (say it with me) AMAZING!
Globally yours,
Lenny
We, of course, were the two girls in line that were completely unprepared (no application, no pictures, no clue) but thanks to some supporters we made it to being in front of the camera saying why we would rock on Amazing Race and yes, we were AMAZING! I have no real clue of what we said but the adrenaline rush (once it was over) was yes, I will say it again for lack of a better adjective, AMAZING!
To have a little bit of a "deeper" moment…one of the even cooler things that happened was actually the next day in church when the choir sang Hillsong's “From the Inside Out”…These lyrics took on a whole new meaning to me:
“Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame / And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise…”
I know one of the reasons I was, shall we say, hesitant to go to the open casting call was wondering (urg,worrying) what would people think of me (have you ever thought that?), what if I messed up on national TV if we did make it (Mary and I cannot even find our way around our own home town!) and everyone I know saw (what will come out of my mouth when the pressure is on, ohhhh I am going to so embarrass my Mom)!!! But listening to this song reminded me whatever I do (whether it be going to an open casting call or how I interact with those difficult people in my life) my goal, my purpose, my heart’s song is to bring God praise, as He is Everlasting, everything else will fade away... BUT his GLORY goes beyond all fame (especially my little fleeting 15 minutes of fame that the Amazing Race would provide me with!).
Wherever God takes me I pray that He will consume me from the inside out so in all that I do He would get the glory and become more famous through His works in me…now wouldn’t that be (say it with me) AMAZING!
Globally yours,
Lenny
unpacking at starbucks
This, our very first blog entry, is less about how much we have to say and more about the size of the Starbucks' receipt paper in front of us. We forgot to bring paper. We did bring a pen however so all is not lost!
In the past year, our lives have been a lot like an unpacked suitcase... very cluttered, definitely unorganized, a little smelly (although not all bad smells, i.e. the coffee from Nairobi), but with a hint of the adventures of places visited and yet to go.
Just like that suitcase that's gone around the carousel one time too many, we too wonder if on the carousel of life we are merely going around and around or if we are fulfilling our purpose. And so we've started this blog to share with you, the universe, our wanderings and ramblings as we figure out who we are and why we are.
Maybe it is appropriate and fitting that we write this first entry at our hometown Starbucks. After all, we're beginning to suspect that any great life-altering journey isn't so much about where you go, but who you become where you are.
So thank you for taking this journey with us (or least reading this far) and maybe as we unpack our minds, we'll help you unpack yours.
Globally yours,
Lenny & Mary
In the past year, our lives have been a lot like an unpacked suitcase... very cluttered, definitely unorganized, a little smelly (although not all bad smells, i.e. the coffee from Nairobi), but with a hint of the adventures of places visited and yet to go.
Just like that suitcase that's gone around the carousel one time too many, we too wonder if on the carousel of life we are merely going around and around or if we are fulfilling our purpose. And so we've started this blog to share with you, the universe, our wanderings and ramblings as we figure out who we are and why we are.
Maybe it is appropriate and fitting that we write this first entry at our hometown Starbucks. After all, we're beginning to suspect that any great life-altering journey isn't so much about where you go, but who you become where you are.
So thank you for taking this journey with us (or least reading this far) and maybe as we unpack our minds, we'll help you unpack yours.
Globally yours,
Lenny & Mary
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